I’ll be honest, I have no words. No words. I have been officially rendered speechless. Congrats. Okay but seriously, the following words left my mouth while watching this clip:

“Oh fucking hell” (as soon as the damned video opened)

“NO”

“Get OUT of there”

“Go away!”

Plus a very large smattering of expletives.

Derek has outdone himself on this new steel cross set up, and it is truly for upperbody lovers. Gorgeous Ama Rio is strapped to this horrid equipment, and when I say she can’t move, she can’t move. Underarms, ribs, navel, inner thighs, knees, feet, Derek gets them all. I squirmed and snurfed my way throughout this entire clip, and seeing his arsenal of tools (you’ll just have to click that link if you want to know which ones he used) all lined up to the side did not help in any way. Goodness gracious, great balls of FIRE, I’m looking forward to my turn on this thing.